Have you eaten?

That’s how I ask people if they know I love them. Have you eaten? Baby, have you had water today? Did you remember to do the small thing that keeps you even keeled while the world slowly dissolves around you? I ask because those are the questions I need to be asked. The answers tell me where I am, what’s going on with me, and what I require in order to be okay.

We’re having an extended period of uncertainty; it kinda can’t be overstated. There is no such thing as overstating that this a first time in a century pandemic situation. Like, let’s just establish that and work forward based on that fact, right? With that knowledge in hand, how do we choose to care for ourselves and others? To be quite honest, we need more of what we needed before. More softness, more gentleness, more genuine adoration and more standing in the gap for folks. In short, we need the kind of nourishment that goes beyond physical sensation. Our minds are stretching to comprehend and make linear a tangle of events and ideas. Our bodies absorb that stress. Our minds receive information about sensations from our bodies. Our minds then try to assess how to function with the pain. In the middle of all this wild shit. It’s natural to be tired, you know, but how many of us are in denial about the taxation on us? What do you need to be able to make it each day? Have you eaten?

What feeds you, lovely one? Seek and embrace the wellspring, the garden, the source of your deepest self-care. You don’t have to starve because “it’s hard out here for everybody.” Their challenge isn’t yours. Your sorrow can never be theirs, even if they’re empathetic. You don’t have to go without because someone else’s struggle makes you second guess yourself. That’s comparison; comparison is an act of violence against the self. That’s not to say you’re an awful person for comparing — we learn from a very young age to compare things as a way of assessing the world around us. Stewing in comparison is a surefire way to never get what you need while also worrying too much about other folks. What happens when you stop fighting with yourself, and go ahead to give yourself what you need?

Have you eaten?

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